Discovering Your True Purpose

I recently dropped a kid off at college and found myself stressing over how she’d take to adulting. Eighteen years of stability, comfort and organic food given up for a tiny box of a room, unhealthy food, and the freedom to binge on alcohol and god knows what else teenagers binge on. I suddenly seemed to be afflicted with amnesia, unable to recall any risky behavior I might have indulged in when I left home for college. My mom asked me if I’d taught her to cook. I rolled my eyes and said, “There are thousands of YouTube videos that she can watch to cook anything she wants. The correct question is, “Does she want to cook?””. What about managing money? We live in a world of digital currency. No more worrying about cash when there’s Venmo. The question is, what will she spend money on? As this conversation went on, I realized, somewhat triggered by Yuval Noah Harari’s works that I’d been reading, that two important questions to answer on our journey to adulting is “What do I really want?" and “Why do I want it?” As Google becomes our most trusted friend and guide, TikTok and Instagram tell us what we should like, and Amazon tells us what we should buy, do we have free choice anymore? “Know thyself” is age old wisdom but is probably more relevant and important today than it has ever been. 
The oldest seeds of human self awareness can be traced through the hazy maze of history to almost ten thousand years ago. The roadmap for human life lies like a diamond in the rough within the cryptic, archaic Sanskrit literature called the Vedas. Aptly called Purushartha (literally translated to “self meaning”), the Vedas alluded to four objectives of human life: earn one’s living, experience life to fulfill one’s desires, live a life of balance to understand and abide by what’s right, and finally, learn to let go, be “free” of desire. Detailed works expounding upon each of these four objectives were subsequently recorded by various scholars. We can distill some core principles from this ancient wisdom and use them as a compass to help us live with awareness. 

Artha, pursuit of material objectives: The Purusharthas advocate for the pursuit of wealth and material comforts. However, this needs to be done within the boundaries of Dharma. Dharma is a word that is impossible to translate into English. In this context, it implies that the pursuit of wealth must be done without harming others and in an honest manner. The guidance is to work with utmost focus without being attached to the work, or the fruits of the work. Through our work, we contribute our bit to the betterment of humankind. How do we interpret this in modern society? Some thoughts: 

• Understand the meaning of positive contribution; if what you do hurts other beings and disturbs the natural order of things, you will not be fulfilled even if you make a lot of money. 
• Work with utmost sincerity, for its own sake, without expecting to be rewarded for it.
• YOU are not what you do for a living. 
• Do not objectify yourself by valuing yourself based on how much money you make.

Kama, pursuit of human desire: What’s the purpose of pursuing wealth? For one, it is to enjoy the comforts and pleasures of human existence. Another is to give to others, spread our wealth to uplift others in need. Just as there are boundaries around how we earn our living, there are boundaries around how we pursue our desires, again within the dictates of Dharma. Here Dharma implies balance. Excessive pursuit of pleasure leads us astray from the path of fulfillment. Pursuit of our desires is generally accomplished with money. The key is to understand what we will spend it on, and how much we will spend. 

• Understand what you value. What brings you joy? Earn and allocate money to make your real desires come true. 
• Have a system to determine the monetary value of things. Such as a price comparison chart, reviews of the product, evaluation of the alternatives to understand the gap between having vs. not having the thing you desire. Having a system will help clarify your needs vs. wants.  
• Indulge in your passions, desires, and work without harming others, including yourself.
• Once you have taken care of yourself, give what you’re comfortable with to uplift others.

Dharma, upholding the balance in our life: Dharma implies many things; duty, code of conduct, balance, and purpose. We uphold the laws of the society we live in so that we may live freely. Breaking the law comes with the consequence of punishment. This is an obvious example of living according to Dharma. There are also moral responsibilities and our values which dictate our behavior and actions. 

• It’s highly worthwhile to identify your core values. This will help you understand your actions and help align the choices and decisions you make with who you are. (There are quite a few exercises to help you do this). 
• Pay attention to your feelings; some things and people energize us, others drain our energy. Choose wisely!
• Being authentic to yourself is the greatest act of self compassion and courage, and is good for your health. Never hesitate to acknowledge how you feel; with this awareness, comes clarity to take action. Bottling up our feelings comes from fear, destroys balance, and leads to self destructive behavior. Expressing our feelings thoughtfully leads to growth. 
• There are ten qualities that help us align with Dharma: resilience, forgiveness, self control, integrity, purity and hygiene of body and mind, reason, knowledge, truth, and control over anger. Strive to live by these. 

Moksha, freedom from human suffering: Moksha is the most elusive, least understood of the Purusharthas. It is freedom from fear, desire, and suffering to finally know who we really are. There is a concept of a true self; moksha is finding this self, finally knowing the “Truth”. A path to Moksha is through leading a life of Dharma. One can also attain moksha through study or spirituality. Attaining Moksha is considered to be the ultimate purpose of life.

• We cannot attain Moksha without fulfilling the other three Purusharthas. 
• Answering the question “Who am I?” is not defined by our current role in society or the work we do. What we do should be the result of self awareness. 
• Practice checking in with your feelings to identify what gives you true joy. 
• When things look bleak, take a moment to remember that there is a journey worth exploring, that into your own mind, to know who you are. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts!